Q: Dear Capable,
I am wondering if their is a social group for teens and adults with mental challenges in Ventura County, CA?
--wanting to involve others

A: 
Yes. The Happy Friends Club meets regularly in Camarillo, CA. The club is for older teens and adults with physical and/or mental challenges. The activities include, arts/crafts, guest speakers, and recreational activities. For further information, including dates and times of meetings, please call, (805) 816-2319.

Q: Dear Capable,
What can I do, as a support staff person taking care of people with disabilities, when my company has a different perspective of assisting thse people that doesn't agree with the quality of care that I feel thse people should be receiving?
--Perplexed

A: Dear Perplexed,
I can sense your concern and passion in working with people with disabilities. I can tell that you want them to get the utmost quality of care available.

I would start with writing out your concerns and going to your supervisor with positive suggestions of ways to improve the working enviornment and atmosphere for the clients that you work with.

Q: Dear Capable,
I've been getting depressed lately. How can I improve my mood?
--Sad

A: Dear Sad,
Depression could have many different causes. It could be situational or even biological.

I would first suggest that you see your doctor in order to see how you are doing physically. He/she can also assess how you are doing psychologically and can possibly refer you to a mental health specialialist.

Excercise and good nutrition are also beneficial in helping to improve mood. I hope that you are feeling better soon.

Q: Dear Capable,
I have a close friend who has Multiple Sclerosis and is in a wheelchair all the time. When we go places, I want to push her in the wheelchair, but I'm not sure if she feels like that makes her more handicapped. What should I do?
--Friend

A: Dear Friend,
Multiple Sclerosis (also called "MS") is a disease marked by batches of hardened tissues in the brain and/or spinal cord. It can result in partial or complete paralysis or muscular twitching.

Is the wheelchair battery operated? Have you asked your friend how she perceives being pushed in the wheelchair? Her attitude might be that she wants to be able to do as much as she can on her own in order to be independent.

Q: Dear Capable,
My husband is hard of hearing and I have a very soft voice. We fight all the time because he can't hear me and I end up yelling. He wears a hearing aid, but it doesn't seem to help. Should I just keep yelling, or should he learn to look at me (to read my lips) when I speak?
--Wife

A: Dear Wife,
I sense your frustration in being able to communicate with your husband. I would first suggest that he sees an audioligist and get another evaluation done. Maybe a different type of hearing aid would work better. Yes, learning to read lips would be helpful.

Q: Dear Capable,
I have a speech impediment. Why do people assume that i have a hearing problem, too?
--Annoyed

A: Dear Annoyed,
It seems to be automatic for people to connect speech and hearing together. Tell people that your hearing is just fine. That will change misperceptions.

Q: Dear Capable,
I read with interest your column in YourNews today. I sincerely hope that you address the issues of people with chemical sensitivities. Those of us who have been injured due to toxic exposures to chemicals need popular recognition of our situations Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) is an American's with Disability Act (ADA) recognized disability, yet many discount our sensitivities and inabilities to engage in the life we had previous to our toxic exposure. Thank you
--MB

A: Dear MB,
I sense your frustration that others' misunderstand MCS and don't realize that it is covered by the ADA. Some forms of MCS may be caused due to ventilation and air quality issues; construction; and, remodeling and cleaning issues. Realize that there are numerous products that can be used to accommodate people with limitations. Various accommodations can be found at http://www.jan.wvu.edu/soar.

Q: Dear Capable,
My six-year-old grandson has been diagnosed as autistic. Will you be talking about this kind of disability in the future?
--Loving Grandma

A: Dear Loving Grandma,
Yes, I will be disussing autism. I can tell your concerned about others' being able to understand what autism is. I'm glad to hear that your grandson has such a loving grandma.

Autistic children have difficulties with social interaction, display problems with verbal and nonverbal communication, and display repetitive behavior. Even though their is no cure for autism, symptoms improve with treatment and age. For more information, contact the Autism Society of America at: http://www.autism-society.org.

Q: Dear Capable,
I'm in my 80's now and I use a cane to walk. Why do people assume that I can't see, even though I drive and can see 20/20?
--EF

A: Dear EF,
Society is still not realizing that the population is aging. Ageism, which can include not being taken seriously, is deameaning.

I would ask people directly, why do you ask about my vision? That way they would have to account for their assumption.

Q: Dear Capable,
How is your column different from Dear Abby and Annie's Mailbox?

A: The Dear Capable Column will focus on issues related to diabilities/ abilities of people with handicaps.

It will stress why people are more similar than different and how to accomodate and improvise to various situations.

Q: Dear Capable,
What make you the authority on writing this column? How will the column improve the community?

A: Because I have my own visual and speech challenges. I am able to emphathize with other with issues and people with disabilities.

The column will enhance attitudes in the community to be more supportive of people with physical/learning and/or mental disabilities.

Q: Dear Capable,
Do you view yourself as handicapped? How can I contact you with my own questions?

A: I view myself as physically challenged; that has a better connotation than handicap or disability.

E-mail your question/concerns to Dear Capable at capable@callmecapable.com

This is a story about overcoming the odds, about doing exactly what others have said could not be done. It is a story about tragedy andprejudice turning to triumph and enlightenment.

Carol Leish has been overcoming the odds ever since she was ten months old, when a car accident left her with slurred speech, permanent hand tremors, and blindness in one eye. In 1963, the family a drunk driver hit from behind Volkswagen Beetle. This was before seat belts and infant car seats laws, and baby Carol was placed in the back storage well while her two older brothers rode in the backseat. Her mother and brothers suffered only minor injuries, but since Carol was in the far back, she took the brunt of the collision. She suffered severe brain stem trauma and was unconscious for ten days. When she finally awoke, the doctors said she would never function as a "normal" person.

Just When You Think It's All Over, It's a Good Time to Start As Leish grew up, family and friends treated her as just one of the kids. Her parents did not feel the need to place her in special education classes, thinking it would only slow her down. They wanted her to live up to the capabilities they knew she possessed, to develop the courage and confidence needed to lead a productive life.

As we are all aware, a child who is "different" will suffer socially. Leish grew up with the usual teasing and mimicking most kids suffer, but hers was magnified many times over. Friendships were few, hard-won, and far between, but because her upbringing molded her "capable" attitude, she kept her focus on the positive things in her life and valued the few friends she had.

As if her life challenges weren't difficult enough, her mom died suddenly from a serious illness just before Carol Leish's 14th birthday. This took its toll on her, and depression was added to her list of challenges. She began to see a counselor, who encouraged her to develop humor as a tonic against depression and negativity.

In high school, Leish challenged herself physically by taking piano lessons, working on hand control while learning to adapt chords to her playing capabilities. She made the junior varsity swim team and soon became the most improved team member. She began working with counselors from the state's department of rehabilitation, who put her through various hand-eye coordination tests, but she just couldn't pass them. When she started thinking about college, she was advised against it-even though she had never had any difficulty academically.

The Greatest Pleasure in Life Is Doing What Others Say You Cannot Do
Attitude is 100 percent of everything we do in life, and Leish's "capable" attitude kicked in once again. Ignoring the rehab agency's advise, she enrolled in college. Hand tremors made writing virtually impossible, so she took notes in class by recording lectures and using a portable typewriter. Proving the experts wrong once again, Leish graduated from college with a B average. She went on to earn her master's degree in education and counseling from California State University, Sand Bernardino, graduating with a GPA of 3.6.

Leish says many people mistake her condition for cerebral palsy, a condition characterized by impaired muscle control due to brain damage, usually at or prior to birth. They also assume she is dear because she has slow, slurred speech or that she isn't paying attention because her left eye wanders.

Assumptions like these prompted Leish to become a disability consultant, launching her business, Call Me Capable In-Services, in 1997. She realizes that people genuinely want to be helpful and courteous towards the disabled, so her program teaches them to be more sensitive and to broaden their perspectives. "My main goal," she says, "is to eradicate the prejudice that people have about people with physical disabilities.

I hope that education in this area will help people to be more comfortable working with the disabled, and all of us will be more productive." Leish notes, however, that nondisabled people aren't the only ones who may need to changes their attitudes. People with disabilities also need to focus on possibilities rather than limitations.

Focusing on those possibilities, Leish continues to gain recognition and has received several awards for her community achievement in promoting mutual understanding and respect of others. Among these awards are: Top Outstanding Young American (California Finalist), 1998, from the U.S. Junior Chamber of Commerce; Outstanding Young Californian, 1998, from the California Junior Chamber of Commerce; and the Spirit of Networking Award, 1997-1998, from the Ventura County Professional Women's Network.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Carol Leish has trained her slow, quivery voice to hold the attention of audiences at businesses, schools, hospitals, clubs, and nonprofit organizations. She invites audience members to join her on her personal journey of coping with visual and speech challenges. She uses her wry wit and genuiness to deal with this sensitive subject in a way that inspires and educates the listener. Ironically, one of her clients in the very same state rehabilitation agency that, back in high school, advised her to forget college.

An important part of Leish's presentation is Call Me Capable, a game she developed in college while earning her master's degree. The game is actually a noncompetitive discussion started for both kids and adults. Players move around a board that prompts them to select cards with thought-provoking questions such as "How can you enjoy dancing if you cannot hear?" The game is both a fun experience and a way of fostering acceptance and empathy for people with disabilities.

It was Leish's dream to get this game published, and in November 2001, that dream came true. Through a networking connection, she was introduced to Franklin Learning Systems, which gave her the green light to get Call Me Capable on the national market.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
-Serenity Prayer, Reinhold Niebuhr

Leish sees every challenge as an opportunity to find constructive solutions, ways to improvise, and the humor in each situation. There are many ironies in Leish's life: even with depression, she went out into the community and networked; with only one good eye and shaky hands, she went further in school than 90 percent of the population; and with her slurred slow speech, she has become a motivational speaker.

She draws strength and inspiration from some of her favorite historic heroes. In the Bible, Exodus 4:10-16 tells that Moses had a speech impediment but delivered one of history's strongest messages about life. Helen Keller, who was blind and deaf; said, "I thank God for my handicaps, for through them I have found myself, my work, and my God." Thomas Edison had a learning disability; Abe Lincoln suffered from depression; and Beethoven was deaf when he composed his Ninth Symphony.

Leish accepts that God has an important mission for her, too. "Through the lessons of life, I have realized my goal to help other," she says. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Life is a succession of lessons that must be lived to be understood." I have learned and continue to learn lessons that can educate others, making them more aware of everyone's capabilities. Thus, remember to call me capable and yourself more capable."

What is the best-selling board game in the world? If you guessed Monopoly, you must be sitting pretty with a hotel on Boardwalk. Two-hundred million Monopoly sets have flown off store shelves since 1935. Monopoly is currently available in 26 languages -- including Croatian and Icelandic.

This holiday season, however, Oxnard native Carol Leish would like you to consider her board game,  Call Me Capable, (www.callmecapable.com) as you select the perfect present for your favorite teacher. The purpose of the educational game, according to the 40-year-old Leish, is to eliminate or eradicate some of the prejudice commonly exhibited toward people with disabilities.

Leish knows of what she speaks. In 1963, at the tender age of 10 months, she was slumbering serenely in the back of her family's VW when a drunken driver careened into the vehicle and left the infant girl with brain stem trauma. Unconscious for 10 days, she awakened to permanent damage on the right side of her brain, blindness in her left eye, and speech difficulties that continue to this day. Even after years of therapy, thoughtless individuals presume that her slow, deliberate way of talking (even though every word is enunciated distinctly) is the result of hearing loss or, even more inaccurately (she's a whiz kid), mental retardation. She's even been asked, point blank, on more than one occasion, "What's wrong with you?"

Her antidote for the justifiable anger that boils up after such insensitive remarks is to just express amusement. While "I may be physically disabled," she says, some folks reveal themselves to be "disabled from the neck up." A rabid-to-the-max Star Trek fan (as the bumper of her car attests), she claims to have inherited her sense of humor from her father. It's obvious, however, that Leish has carefully cultivated a drollness that can only be described as deliciously wicked. Her wry wit has even worked itself into some multiple-choice questions found in Call Me Capable.

For example, "Some newer wheelchairs help disabled people get around by using a) electric motors, b) gasoline motors, c) jet engines, or d) mice on a treadmill" may not be politically correct, but it gives nondisabled players permission to laugh as they learn.

In study after study, education experts report that empathy is a particularly difficult concept to get across to students of any age. Call Me Capable poses open-ended questions that fire up players to reconsider preconceived ideas and knee-jerk responses. As they are invited to think about those who face physical, mental and learning challenges -- "If you go out to

dinner with a friend who is blind and the waiter asks you for your friend's order, what do you say?" -- Leish has discovered that the light eventually dawns.

When a financially challenged Charles B. Darrow showed the prototype of Monopoly to executives at Parker Bros., it was the height of the Depression. The assembled big shots unceremoniously rejected his game, citing 52 so-called "design errors." Darrow wasn't daunted.

Neither was Leish. Her bright idea arrived in 1987 while she was working on a master's degree in education and counseling at California State University, San Bernardino. As she toiled in the trenches as a substitute teacher, Call Me Capable started to evolve. The opportunity for further "field studies" arrived as a part of her in-service training for teachers, medical personnel, social workers and other professionals dealing with the disabled on a daily basis.

Finally, in 1997, when the game was as finely tuned as it was going to get, it was time for a marketing plan. As Zen practitioners will attest, "When the student is ready, the teacher arrives." Membership in the Ventura County Professional Women's Network provided her with the education and encouragement she needed to realize her heart's desire. The last duck to queue up was Franklin Learning Systems. Just in time for the yuletide season, the company (www.franklinlearning.com) stands ready, willing and able to distribute Call Me Capable worldwide via the Web.

Call Carol Leish "capable." "Irresistible, too," she adds impishly. Leish considers herself someone "who hustles with chutzpah," and hustle she does. Her first Call Me Capable royalty check has been duly framed and accorded a place of honor alongside a sparkling tiara, her VCPWN Spirit of Networking Award, and her recognition as an Outstanding Young American by the California Junior Chamber of Commerce.

All of us will face disability someday. Quite uninvited, it will arrive in various guises -- courtesy of old age. How will we want to be treated?

In 1970, Parker Bros. came out with the Braille edition of Monopoly. Interestingly enough, those who play Call Me Capable seem to find a new way of seeing.

Can't we make it a best seller, too?

-- Beverly Kelley, who writes every other Monday for The Star, is a professor in the Communication Department at California Lutheran University. Address e-mail to kelley@clunet.edu.

Call her capable, 39-year-old Carol Leish of Oxnard.

She has been persevering against the odds ever since a car accident damaged her vision and her speech as a child.

Now an advocate for the disabled, she has trained her slow, quivery voice to hold the attention of audiences around the county at regular presentations.

"My main goal," she said, "is to eradicate prejudice that people have about people with disabilities."

She tells people to focus on their own and others' capabilities-hence the name of her organization, Call Me Capable.

The moniker is also the name of a soon-to-be-released game Leish developed. The "game" is actually a noncompetitive discussion-starter.

Players select cards with thought-provoking questions such as, "How can you enjoy dancing if you could not hear?"

Leish began developing Call Me Capable when she was in graduate school at California State University, San Bernardino. She graduated in 1988 with a master's degree in education and counseling, but the game continued to be a work in progress.

"I still can't believe it will go national," said Leish, who concentrated on marketing the game for five years before getting a green light from Franklin Learning Systems in November 2001.

She hopes it will be available by the end of this year; she expects grade-schoolers, social workers and counselors to be its main audience.

(VctyStarWardlaw)

OXNARD--Carol Leish taught 100 area Girl Scouts leaders something new last weekend about sensitivity when it comes to people with disabilities--all with a simple board game.

Leish, a disability consultant and Oxnard native, demonstrated the Call Me Capable Game, which she created, for the Girl Scout leaders from Ventura and Santa Barbara counties at a Southern California Leaderama on Saturday at Blackstock Junior High School.

"The one-hour discussion game provides open-ended questions about physical, mental and learning challenges," said Leish, 36. "The objective is to help players become more aware of the capabilities and strengths of individuals with disabilities."

Elizabeth Rockey, adult development and membership specialist for the Girl Scouts Tres Condados Council, and Leah Hayes, assistant executive director for the youth organization, also took part in the demonstration.

Leish said she demonstrates the game in small groups of children or adults. She usually splits people up into groups of five and challenges them with questions to earn points.

They can earn bonus points with the roll of the dice.

"The main theme of the game is that whether we have disabilities or not, we are more similar than different," Leish said. "It is all about being able to improvise or accommodate situations in different ways. The game is intended to be a fun learning experience that, at the same time, fosters more acceptance and empathy for people with disabilities."

The game includes cards in one of three categories: emotion, experience and imagination.

The emotion cards, for instance, ask the participate to "Describe how you would feel if you had to use a wheelchair for one year," or an experience card could ask the participant to "Imagine you started a new business. Would you hire a person with a disability?"

An imagination card might ask "What would you do as a teacher to help a student who has trouble writing in class?"

"The questions are open-ended and there are no right or wrong answers," Leish said. "It's meant to be a learning tool, not a game per se. It works best with individuals who are 10 years old and up because they are able to understand the questions and see themselves in other people's shoes."

For more information, contact Carol Leish at (805)988-6160.

OXNARD--Carol Leish has made a career out of turning negative stereotypes about people into a positive affirmation of life through humor.

Since 1996, the Oxnard native has led classes called Call Me Capable, for teachers, social workers and other professionals who come into contact daily with people with disabilities.

"The in-service training teaches those who are not disabled to be more sensitive toward those coping with visual and speech disabilities, broaden their perspective and learn ways to maintain positive attitudes," the 36-year-old said.

Leish has been diagnosed with oral ataxia, which she acquired as a result of a head trauma sustained in a car accident in 1963 caused by a drunk driver when she was 10 months old. She said a neurologist said she suffered significant brain stem damage, leaving her with slurred speech and impaired vision, but no loss of awareness or intellect

Leish said many people mistake her condition for cerebral palsy, a condition characterized by brain damage usually at or prior to birth, or they assume she is deaf because she has slurred speech.

"For a portion of my life, I was angry because people we so quick to make assumptions about me," said Leish, who holds a bachelor's degree in human development and a master's degree in education and counseling from Cal State San Bernardino. "But through continued counseling and leading the in-service training, I've come to terms with my own abilities."

"I see myself as capable and other people as more capable. It has been a cathartic experience because I am able to help others and help myself."

She said awareness is the first step in dispelling misinformation.

"My work is important because there are many subtle and not-so-subtle forms of discrimination against the disabled during job interviews, for example," she said.

She said her counselor encouraged her to develop humor as a tonic against negative or insensitive comments from others.

"The more I've worked on my humor the quicker I've become at it," she said. "I want dry wit, not harsh sarcasm. I'm not aiming for raunchy or risqué. I want to be more Bob Hope than Don Rickles, or something in between."

Randy Dalton, a former probation social worker now serving as a core services specialist with Cal Works, said of Leish, "I think that it is incredible how she can turn negative attitudes into a positive. That's a great gift."

Donna Timlin, a deputy probation officer with Ventura County Probation since 1973 who is mildly hard of hearing, said at times, she has had people say to her, "What's the matter with you? Are you deaf?"

"No," she'll answer. "I just can't always hear the beginning and end of sentences."

Leish said she sees every challenge as an opportunity to find constructive solutions and tries to improvise and find the humor in every situation.

In 1998, Leish received the Spirit of Networking Award from the Ventura County Professional Woman's Network and the Outstanding Young American Award from the California Junior Chamber of Commerce.

Leish will speak at the Ventura Boy's & Girls Club August 6 and at a Girl Scout conference in San Diego Aug. 21.

Ever since a drunk driver plowed into the car she was riding in when she was 10 months old, Carol Leish has wrestled with vision and speech challenges caused by brain stem trauma. Now at age 36, the Oxnard woman has to combat stereotypes, too.

Like the store cashier who gushed, "Remember, we all think that you're special here."

Yuk. Pretty nauseating for someone like Leish, who has physical challenges but whose IQ is intact.

"Having a physical disability doesn't mean the intellect is affected," she pointed out.

Attitudes like the cashier's regardless how well-meaning is what prompted Leish to become a disability consultant.

In the three years since Leish launched her consulting business, Call Me Capable, she has traversed Ventura County, giving speeches to groups of nondisabled people in order to increase awareness about the appropriate and respectful way to treat those with disabilities.

On July 26, she addressed a group of employees at Oxnard's CalWORKS, an organization that helps people on public assistance find jobs. When she speaks, she use humor and her first-hand experience of what it's like to be disabled in a society that sometimes doesn't understand.

Help for the nondisabled
When dealing with a person with a disability, Leish counsels, avoid making assumptions.

A sales clerk once began using American sign language upon hearing Leish's slow speech. "Just because I have a speech problem don't assume I have a hearing problem," she said.

Because her eyes tire easily, Leish learned to pace herself through college as she earned her teaching credential, and later on, when she became a teacher. Yet her attempts to accommodate her disability drew bias, both subtle and not-so-subtle.

"People think I'm not paying attention because my left eye wanders," Leish said, "or they think you're lazy or depressed because of leaving events early, when it's really eye fatigue."

Leish always kept an arsenal of quips handy. Like the one she wished she'd thought of for the clerk who assured Leish she was "special":

If I'm so special, where's my free hamburger?"

Disabled from the neck up
Nondisabled people aren't the only folks who may need an attitude adjustment. Some people with disabilities need to focus on possibilities rather than limitations, Leish said.

"We meet people who want to be handicapped and they're not," said Phyllis Dobbins, career services supervisor at CalWORKS in Oxnard.

They use it as a crutch," Leish said, nodding. "They're disabled from the neck up in their attitude."

One of Leish's favorite models of famous dialed people with positive attitudes is Helen Keller, who was blind and deaf. "I thank God for my handicaps," Keller said, "for through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God."

--Kim Lamb Gregory is a staff writer. You can e-mail her at kgregory@staronline.com

Dreams do come true with a combination of persistence; chutzpah, luck and networking all rolled together as one.

This wonderful journey of networking started when I joined VCPWN in February of 1997. Soon after joining, someone suggested that I contact Milt Wright & Associates, Inc. in Chatsworth. They do organizational design, training and development along the lines on disability awareness that is my focus.

I figured that the best way to get to know someone at Milt Wright was to order a book from their catalog: The Job Placement ADA (Americans with Disabilities) Connection. After reading through part of the book, I planned on calling to get to know one of the workers. Milt Wright was doing their own marketing and Lynda Jean Groh, from Milt Wright called me. After talking on the phone every week for about two months, I talked Lynda Jean into meeting me for lunch in Thousand Oaks at Roxy's(my treat).

Through the development of a genuine and close friendship, Lynda Jean has also given me advice on ways of better marketing myself to the public. Image through brochures, folders and business cards is vital.

In 1999 my brother Alan, who I call my "wonderful web wizard," developed a website for me. I realized how many more people I could reach through the website. No geographic barriers! The website is at www.callmecapable.com. It has helped to add validity to what I do with providing more than either a brochure and/or a Resume could.

Through surfing the web, I am always amazed what a vast resource library it is! I found out through looking at Milt Wright & Associates, Inc. website at www.miltwright.com in May of 2001 that a conference was taking place in Oxnard in the early summer of 2001 about ways "Employees could Shine". I was able to come to the first morning presentation. Then at lunch, I met Dianne Owens, the Vice President of Curtis & Associates. Curtis & Associates cosponsored the event. They do employment communication consulting. With Diane, I talked about my disability awareness game.

Diane Owens and I kept in touch over the summer. She talked about me, my game and my website to Bryan Kuntz, who is the Assistant Director-Product Department for Curtis & Associates, Inc. in Nebraska. I was able to look at Curtis & Associates, Inc., website at www.selfsufficiency.com.

In September 2001,Diane Owens invited me to a breakfast and talk put on by Curtis & Associate, Inc. in Oxnard. After the Keynote talk, I was able to talk with Bryan Kuntz. I gave him a copy of the Call Me Capable© game rules and all the game questions. When I called Bryan in mid October, he said that he was forwarding my game material to Dr. Franklin Rubenstein in Connecticut of Franklin Learning Systems at www.franklinlearning.com.

Then on November 1, I talked to Franklin and he said that he was very interested on working with me on the further production and eventual publication by the end of 2002 of the Call Me Capable Game ©.

Thus, what a difference a network makes! Continue to network. It does pay off! Dreams do come true.

"As we are liberated from our own
Fear, our presence automatically
Liberates others."
---Marianne Williamson

By starting her talk for VCPWN by asking, "How many of you consider yourself short?" Peggy O'Neil was able to emphasize that most of us would automatically think of how tall we are in inches. When she asked, "How many consider yourself to be big? Huge? Giganitic? She raised her own hand. Peggy stated that "You can all walk tall."

Throughout Peggy's inspirational talk, she emphasized the importance of "Inner Bigness," which is an important foundation for "Walking Tall." She was speaking from her own personal experience of being short of stature(3-feet-8-inches). She does not agree with Disneyland's ride that "It's a small world after all…"

Peggy told us how her physical challenges of being short of stature have been minor compared to the emotional challenges that she has been able to overcome through realizing her uniqueness. Thus, she is able to sparkle like a diamond.

Peggy talked about growing up and first realizing that at the age of seven she was not going to grow anymore. As a child she got teased a lot. As a teen she got excluded socially and romantically. And, as an adult, potential employers would see her height before they saw her job capabilities.

As a teen, Peggy got a camera. She developed a dark room and did photography as a summer job. By focusing on her strength, she was able to excel in photography and was accepted in the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena. She persevered, even though the camera and equipment was big. However, the dean of the school said that she wouldn't "succeed in the real world." Peggy said , The dean's negative viewpoint didn't shatter my dreams. That inner voice shattered my dreams."

Peggy lived in Hawaii for awhile; but was unhappy on the inside. She realized that her biggest handicap was her inner smallness (attitude), not her outer self (being short of stature). Peggy shared with us the two steps on the journey to gaining inner bigness.

She said that "even though we can't control what others' say to us, we can control what we say to ourselves."

This journey toward Walking Tall starts with 1) Silencing the critical voice. It's important to stop the critical voice in order to show your greatness.

Continuing on the journey of walking tall, Peggy said the importance of 2) Unveiling the diamond within.

Remember, according to Robert Frost, "The only way out is through…."on this continuous journey of life.

By Carol Leish

"The world cannot afford the loss of the talents of half of its people(women) if we are to solve the many problems which beset us."
--Dr. Rosalyn Yallow, Nobel Prize winner, 1977

"An invention is something that is new and useful," according to VCPWN Keynote speaker, Susan Casey. "Or an invention can be an improvement of an existing product." She gave the example of Bounce, which was improved upon by Agnes McQuirry. By cutting slits into the Bounce, Ms. McQuirry improved Bounce as a fabric softener. Thus, she got a secondary patent.

In her talk, Susan discussed that a trademark is "a cheaper way to get name recognition for your product." She said that for about $400 you could get a trademark to protect the name or image of your product (such as "Liquid Paper"!) Susan mentioned that a patent (which costs close to $2000) gives the inventor the right to be the only one who can sell an invention. (Speaker's note: A trademark is good for as long as a company is in business; a patent can be good for up to 20 years.)

We saw an interesting slide show of women invetors who invented things for various reasons. We learned that women invent what they need. This was exemplified with the inventions of computers to help children learn by Barbara Thompson, who invented the Tutor Clock and the Tutor Money Machine. As a second-grader, Emily Strubinger invented a Porch Policeman so that her pumpkin wouldn't be stolen. This was a button alarm that was placed under the pumpkin.

Women also invent in order to solve problems. Mary Anderson, while on vacation in New York, invented a windshield wiper for a streetcar in 1903. Grace Hopper developed the computer language COBOL, for which she was inducted into the Engineering and Science Hall of Fame. In order to help protect material from stains, Patsy Sherman invented Scotchguard for 3M.

Another reason that inspired women to invent was to make the world a safer place by improving things. Harriet Tracy got a patent in 1890 for developing a safety device for elevators. In 1898 Josephine Cochran invented the dishwasher. A card game, with questions about family relationships called Family Treeditions, was invented by Mildred Smith in 1980.

Helping to cure sickness was another reason for women to invent. Gertrude Elion, along with her research partner, Dr. George Hitchings, developed drugs that fight childhood leukemia. Their research also lead to the discovery of AZT, which helps patients with AIDS. For this achievement, they were awarded the Nobel Prize in Medicine or Physiology. The research of Dr. Rosalyn Yallow, with her partner Dr. Solomon Berson, led them to receive the Nobel Prize in Medicine or Physiology too. Dr. Yallow worked on a way of detecting the presence or absence of vitamins, hormones, drugs, enzymes or viruses within blood or saliva which could lead to the early detection of many diseases.

Through her inspiring talk, Susan Casey took us on an exciting journey of women inventing for various reasons. This journey started with the desire and imagination to turn ideas into real inventions. Thus, we now know about various women who have changed ideas into actual inventions.

"If your life were a movie, what would it be called?" asked our speaker Judith Parker Harris. By viewing our life as a movie, such as "Gone with the Wind" or "Turning Point," we began to realize how we could view the various results and changes in our life.

We could also write down five turning points in our lives and view what happened one year, five years and 10 years later after the turning points.

In 1985, Judith realized the importance of the C-Path of Courage, Creativity and Choice when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Instead of being passive and just listening to the prognosis of the doctor regarding multiple sclerosis and that she would end up using a wheelchair, Judith entered her own turning point of change.

Judith said, "I changed everything about how I lived my life, since I refused to believe what the doctors said would happen to me. I was not going to wait for someone to come along and make me all better." These changes included making changes in her nutrition, exercise, who she socialized with, and what she did for a living.

Through having the courage, creativity and choice to change, and by actually making a change, Judith started a company called Health Esteem International. She wrote a book. And, she met her soul mate(she has been married 13 years.) Through these changes she has been healthier and happier than she ever was.

"Regarding feeling," according to Judith, "we are used to knowing how we are feeling physically but not how we are feeling emotionally." She stressed the importance of recognizing and dealing with our feelings in order to reach our dreams.

Having tools to conquer a crisis and to target and change what is holding us back in life is essential, according to Judith. She said that it is important to know our emotional family tree. Learning to balance our life is also significant Listening to ourselves for answers is vital. Remembering to exercise is also beneficial.

Targeting change also occurs through being able to start to play. Knowing and sharing our life stories is vital. According to Alice Deville, "Every relationship that we have with another person reflects the relationship that we have with ourselves." Remembering also the importance of making a commitment to our true feelings is essential.

Thus, through change, "we develop a sense of purpose, peace and pleasure that brings us joy," according to Judith. "Stay connected to your feelings and passions and if the shoe fits, wear it."

Judith has offered to teach her eight-week Health-Esteem Program in Ventura, since interest was expressed after her inspirational talk for VCPWN. She would come to Ventura if a group of at least 10 people wants the program, and she is willing to give a scholarship to the person willing to provide their home as a meeting location. The Program consists of eight group meetings and four private coachings (done either by phone or in person).

Judith explains, "The Health-Esteem Program helps you achieve results on the project of your choice, and activates your dreams while allowing you the vision and freedom to grow and change." Call Lana Antione at (805) 659-3123 or Judith Parker Harris at (310) 858-1272 if you are interested.

Watch out for my trained tape recorder, which happily will record each and every word that is said.

It is quiet and it is a patient listener. Even when words ramble on and on, it continues to listen.

I've been relying on my tape recorder for many situations. I consider it to be like a faithful friend who is dependable.

In college in San Bernardino in the '80s, I relied on my tape recorder to record lectures in my various classes. The tape recorder was able to take the notes verbatim.

This was essential, especially when learning quotes.

When listening to what my tape recorder had recorded, I would be able to take my own notes.

What a deal! I got to hear the lectures twice. Great study technique.

Thus, I thank my tape recorder in helping me to attain both my B.A. and M.A. degrees at CSU, San Bernardino.

Over the past four years, while being a member of the Ventura County Professional Women's Network(VCPWN), I have been putting my tape recorder to good use again.

It listens attentively and records precisely as some of the key note speakers give their presentations at VCPWN meetings.

The bonus for me is that I get to listen to the presentations twice. The second time that I listen, at home, I transcribe the notes. Then I write an article about the presentation for the VCPWN newsletter.

I appreciate my reliable tape recorder friend who faithfully helps me as I continue to write and write and write. -Carol Leish is a Disability Consultant, speaker and writer. She lives in Oxnard.

-Is they're a gizmo in your life that you really love? Readers are invited to submit essays on high or low-tech gadgets that make their lives easier or just more fun. The Star will pay $50 for published essays. Submissions should be addressed to "The Best of Everything" c/o Roger Harris, Ventura County Star, P.O. Box 6711, and Ventura, CA 93006;or emailed to harris@insidevc.com.

How do people effectively communicate given the tremendous differences between them? How do you attain balance through strengths?

As an organizational management consultant, Katherine Stackpoole facilitated a fun game at VCPWN to show people how we all create different synergistic effects. By focusing on these six strengths, as a group we became more aware of how effectively we used them within our businesses and personal lives.

Through playing with cards, VCPWN members and visitors enjoyed a lively demonstration of various types of strengths. People were divided into two groups, according to whether they had an odd or even number card in a particular color.

Two examples of blue cards with an odd number were: "I'm reserved" and "I think through and reason things out." Thus, structure and planning situations were important to these people. The strength was thinking.

Two examples of blue cards with an even number were: "I like change" and "I'm a doer" Thus, the strength for people who picked these cards was risking.

Within the odd numbered green cards, two examples were, "I am most effective in dealing with immediate practical situations"and "I accept the realities of a situation." These people had the perspective of being focused in the present. Their strength was practicality.

Within the even numbered green cards, two examples were, "I have a lot of interest in abstract ideas" and "I tend to see how things could be than how they really are." The strength for this viewpoint was being theoretical.

While playing with the red cards, people realized the meaning of the odd number cards. Two examples of cards were: "I get along well with other people" and, "The support of other people is important to me." This group focused on the needs of other people. As one member put it, "My clients are loyal to me. They feel cared for." These people have the strength of having the courage to depend on others.

While continuing to play with the red cards, people with the even number cards read out examples. These included, "I am self-sufficient" and "I value independence and personal freedom." Through the strength of independence, these people focus on being challenged and on being self-starters.

Katherine stated the importance of realizing the dynamics within the company that you work at. Regarding the six strengths, she said, "When you do something naturally well, it doesn't take as much energy. So, if you're very theoretical and like creativity, and you're in a job where you don't get to do that, guess what? You're miserable." Realize how you can attain balance through the work that you do.

Do you want to be recognized by the media? Do you want to be a shining star? Realize the ways to get acknowledgment and publicity for who you are.

First, it is important to recognize the community resources available to you. Realize that the media is waiting to cover interesting stories. What media? Look in the phone book to find out about newspapers. The newspapers within the Ventura County area include: Ventura County Star; Los Angeles Times; Los Angeles Daily News; Ojai Valley News; Ventura County Reporter; and, Business Digest.

For the larger papers mentioned above, e.g., "County Star" & "L.A. Times", I would recommend calling to find out who covers education, if your business deals with education. If your dealing with issues affecting the government, find out who covers governmental issues. Always call two or three weeks ahead of the scheduled event/meeting that you want covered. Mail a reminder note thanking the reporter for saying that he/she will come. Mail a thank you note and a little token of appreciation (such as a bookmark) after the reporter comes. Call the same reporter for future events in order to establish a business relationship. I'm even going to send Seasons Greetings Holiday cards to my contacts. The extra touches counts!

Also be aware of the impact that Radio has. The radio stations within the Ventura County area include: McDonald Media (KVEN/ KBBY/ KHAY); Gold Coast Broadcasting (KTRO/ KKZZ/ Q104.7/Octopus/Breeze; and, KLITE (98.3).

Realize that most radio stations offer community service announcements for free). Stations may offer community interest weekly programs. Remember; call in advance of various things that you want to have covered.

Realize the importance of Television coverage. Realize that KEYT Television is looking for human-interest stories. KEYT has offices out of Oxnard and Santa Barbara. KADY Television is a local station out of Camarillo. Call to find out if they would like to cover an event. All you have to do is give it a shot by calling.

Be aware of the importance of getting involved within the community. Yes, VCPWN is a great start. Consider joining one or more Chamber of Commerce. Join or talk to various groups in order to make more contacts (the joy of networking!). Call up the Rotary club; Lions; Kiwanis; or the Optimists. Also, become familiar with our local government, such as, the County Supervisors.

Remember that the first step is to call to let the media know what is available in the community. Stress what is the originality or interest potential of your event. Also note the importance of your event. Also, be assertive. Keep trying!

Call Me Capable & Call Me Irresistible (a hook is always important…)

"The richness of human experience would
lose something of rewarding joy if there were
no limitations to overcome."
----Helen Keller

Being brought up by a positive and determined mother, Kathy Long and her three siblings were determined to succeed. Welfare helped them out as a "safety net." Kathy went to live with her grandparents after losing her mom at age 16. Her grandpa reinforced her mother's idea of "education being able to open many doors for us."

With the help of scholarships, student loans and work study programs, Kathy received a degree in education. Her B.A. emphasized health and P.E. from Eastern University of Michigan.

Kathy has had an interesting and varied career path leading to her current position, which she refers to as using "aptitude and attitude to get altitude."

Kathy's attitude and aptitude then took her to Detroit. For nine years she realized the importance of "experiencing power and diversity while living in an urban environment."

Kathy came to California in 1981. She held a position with L.A. Councilwoman Pat Russell. Through her work she realized the various differences in dealing with honesty and integrity on the West Coast compared to the Midwest.

In 1988 Kathy came to Ventura County. After marrying Randy, they bought a franchise, "Flea Busters," and settled in Camarillo. By realizing the importance of networking, Kathy became active with the Chamber of Commerce and VCPWN. In 1990 her son Austin was born. He is now seven and "keeps my attitude up and has me rethinking my aptitude every day."

In 1991 Kathy began to work with Supervisor Magee Kildee's staff. After being encouraged to run for office, Kathy ran for Supervisor in 1995. With much support, including "invaluable assistance from VCPWN," Kathy Long became Supervisor on January 7, 1997.

The issues of concern Kathy has been and continues to work on include: highway safety; how to protect and preserve agricultural lands; how to keep our library doors open; and balancing the budget. She also stresses the importance of welfare reform and the welfare-to-work program.

Re: your July 12 article, "Police put disabled to work":

The article states that adults challenged with developmental disabilities are participating in a work program at the Oxnard Police Department. Crime analyst Jane Lemond says the "Although they are in their 50s, they are like little kids, but they do a good job."

I agree with Lemond that the work program is beneficial since it "reunites these people with society." By shredding reams of duplicate crime reports from the Crime Analysis Unit, the volunteers provide an important service to the department.

The sad reality is, according to Lemond, "Even with today's modern technology and advancements, the majority of the people in society still have difficulty dealing with those not as fortunate as us."

It is important for the Oxnard Police Department to set an example to other employers in order to encourage them to hire people with mental/physical disabilities. Awareness is the first step to overcoming fear and prejudice of the disabled. In order to accurately follow the Americans with Disability Act(ADA), employers need to be more sensitive and accommodating to people with disabilities.

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep
----Shakespeare

The above words from "The Tempest" have meaning for Jill Forman, who got her B.A. SUMA CUM LAUDE from CSU Northridge with a major in English. In addition to writing articles for "Inside Interface", Jill is a crisis counselor and has helped at "Safe Haven" Shelter. She also represents Interface at fairs and other community activities.

Jill and her husband, David Young, live in Ventura. David is a physical therapist. Jill is an RN in surgery at Los Robles Hospital in Thousand Oaks. She also volunteers time at the Human Resource Center Free Clinic on a regular basis.

Jill has a 23-year-old son, Joshua, who is graduating in the Spring from UCSB as a physics major. Her daughter, Allison, is also graduating this spring with a degree is speech from Cal State Chico. Courtney, her 19 year old daughter, is a psychology major as CSU Chico.

Jill says that at Interface, "You can do pretty much whatever you're interested in within social services. The volunteers and staff are a lot of fun; they are genuine people."

Jill, you are helping Interface to make dreams come true, by improving the community through your volunteer work.

Improving the community makes me think of the lyrics from "No, No, Nannette," "I want to be happy, but I can't be happy, 'till I make you(the community) happy too."

Attitude is the important determining factor of how I view things in my life. Accomplishing goals is possible through having a positive attitude. This positive attitude comes from being serene, which faith in God enables me to be.

By having an optimistic attitude, I am able to excel in my personal and professional life. By being confident and serene, I realize that my goals and desires will become reality.

I realize that accommodating to different situations is possible, in spite of physical limitations. Even though I have a visual disability, I am thankful to God that I am able to drive. There are ways to adapt to situations. Having a hand tremor has not interfered with my education or my career. Computers, typewriters and tape recorders are prevalent.

By having faith in God, I realize what an important person I am. I also realize that everyone has a purpose here. I feel that my purpose in life is to make other people more sensitive toward the disabled. This goal will become a reality when the "Call Me Capable" Game is published and marketed.

My purpose in creating the "Call Me Capable" Game is to foster understanding and acceptance of people with disabilities and provide an opportunity to people to increase their knowledge about individual differences.

This purpose of mine, to do away with discrimination and prejudice towards the disabled will occur, since I have faith in God that it will. I always repeat the "Serenity Prayer." The words, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference," are very powerful in my life.

With God in my life, I have learned to accept the thing I cannot change: my visual disability, slurred speech, and a hand tremor. I have met the challenge of developing the courage to change the things I can through the development of the "Call Me Capable" Game By developing the wisdom to know the difference, I have begun to realize the peoples' prejudicial remarks to me are caused by a lack of knowledge and fear of the unknown, which can be abolished by gaining awareness of the disabled.